The loss of a child to drugs or to suicide is one of the greatest tragedies we can face in life.
It is different than a death from illness or accident because in addition to grief a parent is searching desperately to understand. Why did this happen? Why? Why didn’t he ask for help? What didn’t I see? What could I have done differently?
Some parents feel as though their hearts are broken from devastating grief. Some express the feeling that their life has stopped.
The reaction from the community can include judgmental statements that the child died as a result of his own actions. Many people just don’t know what to say. This adds to the intense pain and sense of isolation and powerlessness felt by the parents.
How do you go on?
Some people find solace in close friends and family or in support groups.
Some people go to mediums. They want a sign. They have to find peace somehow.
Some people feel the grief lift a bit when they reach out to help others.
It is so important to try to take care of yourself. It is natural to feel like you will never feel joy again, but sometimes you can find moments of pleasure — in a walk on the beach, in a massage, in taking a grandchild out to a restaurant.
Don’t feel guilty for these moments of pleasure.
The pain lessens with time. It doesn’t go away, but it lessens.
Remember, too, that a tragedy like this puts the greatest strain possible on the relationships in your life. Therapy can help with this.